I’m Rosie, I was diagnosed with MS in 2015 after just turning 25. Subsequently loosing my love of running and no longer being able to work full-time, I fell back in love with art and writing. To read more about me visit here. Thanks for visiting my site and I hope you enjoy it.
First time to the site? Here is where it all started
Latest From the blog
- ResourcesEverything from a list of neuro rehab services to self-help tips to help you manage your chronic illness
- Welcome to our normalThe theme of this year’s World MS day is connections and could that be any more apt given the current situation? For so many people, Covid-19 has meant a change in the way we live and work. Job losses, reduced hours and working from home. Added financial worries. Loneliness and isolation. A feeling of frustrationContinue reading “Welcome to our normal”
- Outshining the painYou are the first thing I think of in the morning because you are the thing that wakes me in the middle of the night. Pushing through that gap between dusk and dawn. Spotting a weakness in my armour, you steal your way in so I can always start my day thinking of you, rushingContinue reading “Outshining the pain”
- Fashion is my armourIn an upcoming MS & Me blog for MS Ireland, I talk about what fashion means to me and my identity. You can read the full blog post here. As any of us with a disability know, the fashion and retail industry are paved with issues, from a total lack of accessible clothing to notContinue reading “Fashion is my armour”
- Finding my fight2019 has been a funny year and as full as challenges as ever. I can’t help but always recap on my MS journey as the curtains close on another year, and each year I look at its difficulties and vow that the new year will be my year, it’ll be the year MS and myContinue reading “Finding my fight”
- You’ve got the powerEvery muscle in my body was screaming. Every little negative voice had creeped in. “I can’t do this,” I cried to Niall, my fiancée, as we struggled up the last hill of the 2015 Dublin half marathon. “Yes you can,” he shouted, reminding me of all I’d been through in the last few months –Continue reading “You’ve got the power”
- The gift of timeThe whirring of machines. The timeless ticking of the clock. The drip-drop of IV lines. The distant buzz of an alarm Waiting for information. Waiting to go home. Always waiting.
- Finding hopeI was being acknowledged at last but it was so bittersweet.
- The hauntingThere she goes… The tightly-bound threads are loosening, unravelling. I’m unravelling. Little by little I’m making less sense of this disease and more sense of the scale of its destruction. I’m angry, sad and hurt. It hurts to look back and think of just how much it’s robbed from me, to watch my ghost laceContinue reading “The haunting”
- Why am I not equal?I’ve learnt that my biggest issue with using a wheelchair is not that I see myself as disabled, it’s that the outside world is designed in such an inaccessible way that it highlights my disability and sets up barriers for inclusion at every turn. Simply put, by using a wheelchair, you are not considered or treated as equal by society.
- Kiss Goodbye to MSTo the people with MS who are reading this, I want you to know you are not alone. Together, side by side, we stand united in our battle against this cruel disease
- Diary of a disabled brideAs you’ll know, I got married last July. We had an absolutely amazing day but during the months leading up to the wedding I really struggled. There was nothing out there for brides or grooms with disabilities, nowhere to turn to – and at times it became a very lonely road (see article I wroteContinue reading “Diary of a disabled bride”
- Who am I now?I’m finally sat back here. Staring at the keyboard. Words and feelings storming through my brain. They’re too fast to catch, to hold on to and to challenge It feels like they rip through me. But there’s so many of them. I’m tired. Too tired for all of this. Somedays I can’t cope with theContinue reading “Who am I now?”
- I doWe finally did it! We got married! Did it go off without any glitches? No. But it was amazing in spite of everything MS tried throwing my way. As I walked down that aisle, I felt like the luckiest person alive and MS wasn’t even in the picture. Thanks to all my amazing friends andContinue reading “I do”
- Love is…“15 days to go until you say I do – I bet you’re so excited!” Wedding to-do lists. Wedding magazines. Wedding forums . And then there’s me. Locked out of the wedding world. With a month to go I found myself on the floor, crying with pain that had constantly intensified over two weeks. TakingContinue reading “Love is…”
- It’s okay to feel lostThe words stick in my throat. I can’t find them. I don’t know how to let them escape. And yet if I don’t, they’ll drown me. Just because we don’t speak something, just because we lock it away and keep hoping, it doesn’t make the fear any less real, particularly when that fear isContinue reading “It’s okay to feel lost”
- A welcome endLights twinkling, Christmas songs echoing in the background, people running past in a flurry – rushing, racing. Life goes on and on. Our tree stands proud in the corner. Its lights silently twinkling, casting a warming glow over an otherwise dull December. It’s such a welcome sight. It means I can finally spend time withContinue reading “A welcome end”
- A bump in the roadThe silence wraps itself around me a hundred times over. It’s suffocating. I lie still. So so still – not wanting to awaken the monster. My patience is wearing thin. I’m so tired of this. Tired of fighting it. Tired of living with it. Tired of always having to think about it.
- The waitThe clock whirs slowly – so so slowly. Tick … tock …. tick! Silence. That long, drawn, aching silence. My mind rushes to fill that space. “You can’t escape me forever,” it whispers. My stomach flips. I’ve struggled to eat all day – the fear pulses through my body – ripping across it in whatContinue reading “The wait”
- Ignite your inner warriorI’m staring out, watching the world go by. Rushing, racing, living, breathing – life. But I’m struggling. I’m really struggling – struggling to make sense of all this. How this disease can just stomp in and rob you of so much in what seems like a split second. It’s so unfair. Long gone isContinue reading “Ignite your inner warrior”
- AcceptanceAh, there you are. I wondered when you’d show your face again. Clearly we didn’t have enough fun last time. You crept up on me this time though. Not like your last sudden assault 18 months ago. This time you lingered in the shadows, teasing me with strange symptoms that left me doubting myself. ButContinue reading “Acceptance”
- Learning to love yourselfI spent most of my life hating my body – hating the way it looked, the way it moved, the way it felt. Then I started running and I thought I’d started a journey to learning to love my body. But I still abused it. I pushed it harder and harder. I could always beContinue reading “Learning to love yourself”
- YOLOAh, finally – holiday time! Sun, sea, sand – oh, and numb and tingling hands and feet, dizziness, tremors, blurred vision, crippling fatigue. And this is just Ireland. Glad we’ve booked our honeymoon to Alaska now. This is actually my first time sitting on the beach in sunshine since my diagnosis – I’d suspected thatContinue reading “YOLO”
- Facing the lightI wrote this post back in December but it’s taken me a while to pluck up the courage to share this. May marks a year since my MS diagnosis and the month of the Pieta House Darkness into Light Walk. I don’t have the words to thank Pieta House for the help they gave meContinue reading “Facing the light”
- Bring it on“We who lived in concentration camps can remember the men who walked through the huts comforting others, giving away their last piece of bread. They may have been few in number, but they offer sufficient proof that everything can be taken from a man but one thing: the last of the human freedoms – toContinue reading “Bring it on”
- Today’s rest is tomorrow’s fuelMy running gear is nicely laid out, trainers at the foot of the bed, Garmin watch all charged up. My head is pounding, my legs are full of lead. I stubbornly change, lace up my runners and decide that I don’t care, that I’ve planned this run all week and I will NOT miss it.Continue reading “Today’s rest is tomorrow’s fuel”
- A different kind of marathonOne, two, three, four. Step by step the path flew by underneath my feet. In truth it was probably far more sluggish than that, but I hadn’t been out running in two full months so this felt pretty spectacular. Sure, my muscles and my lungs screamed a bit, but not enough to dampen my euphoria.Continue reading “A different kind of marathon”
- Sweet dreamsAs the plane descended, I could hardly believe my eyes – the landscape and the scenery was something I thought only existed in picture books. I finally stopped holding my breath. After almost two years of planning, having had to cancel last year’s trip thanks to MS, we’d finally made it to Iceland – andContinue reading “Sweet dreams”